INTRO.

[ultrapenumbramods]

You wake up feeling like you’ve had a rough night’s sleep… maybe a bit jet-lagged, if you’re familiar with the feeling, or perhaps like you, uh, had a little too much to drink last night. Either way, you’re probably not expecting to wake up in a forest clearing, so that might be even more disorienting. It’s not an unpleasant place to wake up, mind. It’s sunny, and there’s a pleasantly cool breeze blowing through. The grass isn’t tall enough that you could get lost in it or that someone could be hiding in it… or something.

There are, in fact, a lot of somethings surrounding you--a veritable menagerie of creatures, some of them adorable, and some of them intimidating… but they seem to be as disoriented as you are. And then, well… you realize something’s a little off about yourself. There’s no pond to look at your new appearance, but… maybe the ground’s a little closer. Maybe you don’t actually have arms and legs at the moment. Maybe you don’t have eyes anymore?

Regardless, something’s definitely up. Fortunately, there’s a path leading out of the clearing, so once you get your bearings and speak with some of the other weird critters you’ve woken up with, you can find… somewhere you can get answers. Well, hopefully, anyway.

Comments

[wegotone]

[Janine just. Watches this with increasing bemusement. As an aside to herself:]

I always find the weirdos, don't I...

[She shakes her head.]

I asked you if you ate rocks, like, two minutes ago and ya said ya didn't. You change your diet that fast?

[fuhuhuhuhu]

Yes. Yes I did.

[She sneers up at Janine.]

If you think you're so smart, why don't you try eating some rocks, Ms. "I'm Totally Not A Monster I Just Woke Up Like This"?

[wegotone]

No thanks. I already ate.

[That sort of challenge might work on the boys, but she's got noticeably more common sense.]

Anyway, if you're done puncturing your esophagus with chunks of rock, mind tellin' me why ya think I'm normally a monster? You woke up in a new body too, right? Aren't you usually human?

[fuhuhuhuhu]

Me? A human?!

[Undyne lets out a harsh, cackling laugh at the mere suggestion.]

Hell no!!! I'm a monster and I'm proud of it! I mean, I'm usually bigger and I can punch other people better, but...whatever! [She scoffs.] Ugh. Don't get me wrong, humans are cool sometimes and their history is sick as hell, but I'd rather just stick to being me.

[wegotone]

[All things considered, Janine's pretty unphased by the monster thing. Her bosses keep a ghost for a pet. It's fine.]

Gotcha. So whatever's goin' on here can turn humans and monsters into different monsters and ghosts. [A pause.] Wonder why, though...

[fuhuhuhuhu]

Humans...and monsters....

[She frowns, scratching her chin as she mulls this conundrum over. After a few moments of silence, she lets out a gasp. Of course! Why didn't she see it before?]

It's gotta be magic robots! Humans used to fight robots all the time! Why else would both humans and monsters be forced into bodies against their will?!

[...]

[wegotone]

... You from the future or somethin'? Since when did humans go around fighting robots?

[That's almost as nonsensical as humans fighting ghosts]

But ya know what, sure. Good a guess as any.

[fuhuhuhuhu]

What?! Humans used to fight robots all the time! And don't even try to lie about it--my girlfriend showed me all your history, and she's the smartest monster I know!!!

[She sneers, but her expression grows slightly softer when she mentions her girlfriend.]

Speaking of which, you wouldn't happen to have seen a yellow lizard monster running around? Or--I guess if she's also got put in another body, answers to the name Alphys.

[wegotone]

[She'd laugh, but the words "my girlfriend" melted her heart and all Janine can do is smile.]

Awww. What's your girlfriend like? I haven't seen her, but I'll keep an eye out for ya.

[fuhuhuhuhu]

Welllllll...she's a big nerd, that's what!

[She lets out a laugh, rubbing the back of her head.]

She gets really nervous about talking about the things she likes sometimes, but I love listening to her talk! She's so smart and cool, how could I not listen to her? And she was the one to introduce me to anime! Before that, I though all humans were super boring and weak!

[wegotone]

[Janine just kind of listens to Undyne gush about her girlfriend with wide eyed amazement.

At the last statement, though, she starts laughing.]

What does anime have to do with anything?

[Oh boy.]

[fuhuhuhuhu]

Uh, everything, duh! It's human history!

[...Is it starting to come together, Janine?]

[wegotone]

[Yyyyyep. She laughs again.]

"Human history", huh? You sure about that?

[fuhuhuhuhu]

Of COURSE I'm sure! My human friend told me anime was real!!!!

[She crosses her arms and sneers at Janine.] Don't try to be coy with me--I know all the tricks you humans have up your sleeves!